Daily Dope:- When West meets East

Somewhere in the West.....

When I recently came across an article about Viagra for females I was not shocked but surprised. What was truly mind blowing is the way in which women get liberated now days or may be its been going on from centuries.
Women in Northern California region “experimented” on the vast field of marijuana fields by rubbing or taking inside the big buds of freshly grown organic marijuana. Yes my dear friend they were fully naked in case you were still trying to picture that. I would like to quote the exact words which I read.
“Happy hippie girls were on the marijuana gardening crew, and I was very surprised when they stripped off their hemp clothing and rubbed their bodies on buds so that marijuana resins gathered on their skin and p**** hair.“
This helps them in getting the best, most long lasting and killer O.

Source:-http://bigbudsmag.com/lifestyle/article/discover-marijuana-sex-secret-viagra-makers-dont-want-you-know-february-2013

Somewhere in the East.....

In the braham muhurut , around 4 am in the fields near Rishikesh and Haridwar you see all the naked Sadhus marching in marijuana fields every morning just to get the best, most long lasting and killer high. This helps them remain in nirvana for a long time and that is one of their ways to increase their concentration and get enlightened to be connected to god. These Sadhus are not concerned about the worldly pleasures and only meditate and about god.

The Sadhus are all vowed to non worldly pleasures of life. They don’t have family kids and are basically just devoting their lives in Gods devotion and practising celibacy. Historically they have been a source of knowledge, religion; philanthropy in India. To a limit whenever there has been an issue for having an “issue” for the throne the Sadhus have emerged champion. That was for the betterment of the society so that there is someone to take care of the throne. They have been warriors, priests, farmers, kings advisors and what all their rajya dharma( duty to the state) allowed. People were known to follow their Karmas which were in sync with their Dharma.
They were the spiritual representatives of the country to the outside world particularly the west ..


What happens when West meets East...

But today when adharm has taken over dharma this is what happens when the west meets the east. rather than imparting the true value for which Hinduism stands our culture and value of “athi devo bavah” ( Guest is god)

How to "spread love" not hate the great global way...by Asharam Bapu..Now in Jodhpur Jail..for Spreading knowledge nd love ..

Daily Dope:- Just Do it Yourself (DIY)

The though itself was cruel.. I need a gun was the first and last thought in my mind.. I was tired of this shit bothering me. All this happened one fine night when I was sneaking to smoke the last cigarette on my roof top. I quietly sneaked on my roof with a cigarette, a lighter, and a packet of Chutki (a local mouth freshener) to finish my last smoke of the day. It was late night around 2 am and I climbed the roof top for a better view (Don’t know what I was thinking...). As I climbed up the stairs and was just about to light the cigarette, I stepped on something which was kind of weird. Suddenly I see two athletic creatures running here and there; man I think I disturbed two mating monkeys on my roof top. The first thought was damn I haven’t done that ever on my roof top and these damn monkeys were having a complete nude session right on my terrace, below the stars, in the slightly cold breeze, romantically lit moon.

It did not end there; apparently I “disturbed” the monkeys in the act which pissed one monkey badly. He just stood there staring and slowly walking towards me and showing some hand gestures. Believe me it just seemed like a scene from some Hollywood cowboy flick. And before he could take out his gun and shoot me, I knew running was the only option I have; moreover my boxers and T-shirt would have hardly provided any shield to the “love bite” the monkey wanted to give me. I ran, closed the channel door, the monkey kept knocking on my heaven’s door... that’s when I decided I need a gun.. at least an Air gun.

My dad told me once that all the wars were fought for mainly 3 things Zar, Zoru, Zameen (Money, Women and Land) in this case, two entities fitted monkey’s point of view. I was ready for the fight for my own land and my shattered self respect (come on he was having more fun in my house than I did).
So confident me, went online and started looking for option to buy a gun to scare the shit out of these “mating monkeys on my rooftop”. Google turned out to be my best friend, opening the doors to wisdom, knowledge, and resources. It told me why buy a gun, buy a 3-D printer instead...you can produce/print your own guns!!!!!! This seemed to be an innovation, best after fire, tire.. and may be air conditioner. Now I needed to be faster than those highly athletic monkeys and get an aerial view to shoot the shit out of them. Again my best friend Google showed me Mashable, where I came to know that there are DIY (Do it yourself) airplanes being launched in the market.

Man I was so overjoyed that I forgot that I left the body of evidence right on the terrace, a cigarette. So I went up there tip toe and was surprised to see this monkey smoking cigarette. As he saw me he like a gentleman offer me a few puffs and told me (in human voice) that he was earlier a Pakistani Military personal who was sent on an operation to blow the Taj Mahal as a revenge against India ( they all have a drama story). While taking a puff, I asked him what was the revenge for to which he promptly replied.. “We have been cheated”. He further explained that on his visit to Taj Mahal president Musharraf (change name) bought a mini version of the Taj Mahal. The local shopkeeper promised that it was made of Marble, the same used in Taj Mahal (That dumb President really got cheated). In few days the colour faded and it turned out to be made of cow dung. Which was like shitting on the president face, hence operation “blow Taj”?
While passing the smoke I asked then how did u become a monkey and who was that other monkey you were humping? He replied that for one month their pit stop was Mumbai. Crossing the roads, dodging cars, buses, and train, when in rain and reaching on time for work outs turned them into literal monkeys. The other monkey was my right hand man and I was not humping him but training him how to be a complete Pakistani soldier on duty. ….though now I no longer serve for the army.
Before I could ask him anything he put his hand on my shoulder and said,, being monkey is simple I can fly and sometimes shoot ..For that you need internet huh…just do it yourself.. Clean the country the enemy lies within…remember what Mahatma and Bhagat Singh taught us.

Daily Dope: - The Great Anti-VIP movement

Now I understand the importance of wearing VIP brand of undergarments in the biggest democracy of the world. I was stopped from riding my bike on the road (for which I pay taxes) as I was not wearing the local brand of underwear named VIP. I though underwear’s won’t make a difference when I am on the Indian road, or as a matter of fact matter on Malawi, France, Nigeria, South Africa, Philippines, China, Zimbabwe etc but they do. This realization came while I was waiting for our some honourable minister’s (pronounced as sinister) and his VIP (Very Illiterate person) convoy to pass through as it was heading for some impotent work. The COPS were carefully checking everyone’s underwear to see who is a VIP and who is not. Later I came to know that in my honourable’s mister convoy everyone wore a VIP which I don’t wear. The cops were literally checking everyone’s undergarments just to see who is a VIP and who is not.. and they say we have higher crimes in developing nations.


(I am not wearing a VIP ... where can I get one)


The VIP movement was started not so long ago in the psyche of the people who started giving more importance to their servants, who worked hard for them and made sure that their masters are safe. The servants took care of the law and order, management of their roads, bridges, agriculture and all the entities of an economy. As a reward they were given the VIP chaddis (undergarments) as a mark of respect for taking care of the important work. They were also given some special privileges so that they can make their master’s work easier. The movement got twisted and the masters became servants and the servant’s masters just by the virtue of VIP chaddies (underwear). Now these so called public servants known as politicians can do whatever they want just because they are VIP branded. This includes brining the whole city to a halt just because they are passing from the same streets at the same time which are most crowded and important This blog gives the non VIP’s a full plan of action to prepare for a situation when a VIP is passing from the same area as you are:-
•Carry an empty bottle:- You are right, this is because the VIP always has a bigger bladder than you. Women just stay inside .. Public toilets are a concept for which Mr. Jairam Ramesh is still clarifying if it was toilet or temple.

•Carry your nail paints:- don’t need to carry the empty bottle you can carry your nail paints. If you have to go for a date, important meeting and don’t have time ....Indian roads will surely give you enough to at least Paint your nails.

•Playing Cards:- Carry playing cards, the Autos are so close by that you can make friends in the nearby Auto. Earn while on a run ...oh you can’t even gamble.

•Alcohol:- Use your eagle view to see the closest liquor shop..time will pass in no time..and may be some Cops will become your close friends
So many people face not just discomfort but have also lost their dear ones all to this stupid practice of stopping the traffic when a VIP passes. Doesn’t it make them easier target with so many high tech guns and snipers now days? If all this doesn’t help rise and shine for an anti VIP movement before our sinister ministers start eyeing even the last piece of cloth left on your bodies. Together we can and we will make a difference at least in our under wears if not the country ...
The power of VIP....

Get your VIP now! ...

Love at the First sight

On my flight back to home .. i was more nervous than happy .. every Indian girl I saw in the flight , a flight from London which has more Indians than usual, reminded me about those old Hindi Songs ".... Isiliye mummy nain meri , tujhe chai pe bulaya hai" ( Thats why my mom has called you for tea...in other words to meet the guy her daughter is dating) . Some of them were really good looking nice face, beautiful eyes and long black hair. A sight that can take you in a flash back ... with colours not black and white ..a picture that reminds you of the good old days with perfect love , romance marriage and Kids. A nice happy sight and you start thinking . But then there is a catch you cant just look at the face, and then the unholy journey starts where the brain stops thinking and manliness starts "thinking" . You go deep down in those oceas where doing a Breast stroke was your dream from childhood. All the movies that you used to watch when parenst were away came back into your present like a flash light. But its all love , love at first sight with just a couple chozen ones every day.

The plane lands and so the hope of talking to at least one of them for more than one minute. People are always sadist , they love to interrupt just when you are about the crack the best of the lines ever said in the history of love , love at first sight. And again you go home thinking at least should have taken the phone number.

Not even a week passes and you are already done , 3/3 failed to impress you and you think just three more to go. But why dont I get to meet those chozen ones whom I left on the way back. Arrange marriage is such a nice flexible , strong system which gives both men and women the equal right to chooze sometimes just after a meet of 2 min. It does nt happen in the most cases but than again some people are again the chozen ones. Their fate is decieded even before they had eaten the first "laddoo" ( a sweet) and with that sweet taste in the mouth .

Now comes the official blind date , with the whole family . Have you ever talke on the climate of Dilli for 2 hrs and ya same thing again and again sometimes from the father and sometimes from the brother. You are in one of the most un-cool clothes cause your mom watned you to look youger and slimmer , and then the climate discussion. Then someone will start boasting about theie relatives in US , huh when will they understand we all have some Indians everywhere , we are the gloabal ones:) .

Then after a while you are given order and request depending on how irritted your parents are with you as you are not showing the best of your moods. You go on the side table and talked to the most clothed women you have ever seen in the hot weather of 45degrees. Man how to check ourt if she has the best you again dreamt from when you were a child who had just learnt swimming. The deal is cancelled cause she was looking for someone more sensible and mature and thast the roumour you hear when as per "they" say you cancelled the deal. its funny .

One more think dont forget to lie if you dont , you dont wanna face your parents again. They will make you feel like you are a Ram who just turned into a Ravan .

Next week one more experience gets added to your credit. You feel wiser and smarter. You feel focussed and realise the whole reason why Mahatama Ghandhi fought for freedom . Its the best thing that can happen to anyone and everyone again thinking of those beautiful faces i saw .. taking my flight again....

Karma and Dharma

I have always been trying to find an answer to some things which I know I will never find an answer to. A few days back ,after visiting a local club , at around 4 am in the morning I was having a discussion with a few of my buddies. The topic was what is bigger crime raping a girl or bobbytizing ( slicing a man 's manliness) a man , and which can be justified.

Rape is more of a Psychological trauma and over a period of time women do come out of it once they get settled married , have kids or one fine day when they realise that it was not a rape but consensual and they did'y feel like admitting it. There is no doubt that for a few years they may stay away from men , hate them , wanna kill them for no reason and even get attracted to women , worst case scenario. But do they loose their "womenliness" by getting raped. May be a new world of enlightenement opens up specially for some of the victims who are unaware of what's happening to them . And you never know sometimes after may be a couple of mins women start enjoying it . There is a great saying that " When rape is evident Might well enjoy it" . So how can it be proved that when a women was getting raped she did nt enjoy it at all? Is there a measure of it ? I dont know and I dont think so.

Now lets come to the Bobbytizing part of this discussion . A few years back when a guy was cheating on his wife and she came to know about his other Mis-adventures in bed with other women; one fine day when he was about to make his own wife happy , in the process lost his tool as his wife sliced it and threw it in a river nearby. Now the question is and I am sure any man reading this can understand how it feels to be without one. He cant feel it , can't scrach it and do other necessary things with it.

Women on the other hand has had been mentally tarumatized may be , had some fun in the process may be , got enlightened may be and here this guy is done, come undone.

Now one more thing that arises in my mind is lets take the same situation but reversing the scenerio. A man is raped may be by a women, a man or some alien. If its a women SC does nt categorize it as a rape , Men can 't be raped they say , ask Mr Michael Douglas who was literally raped by Demi Moore in some movie based on a Novel by Micheal Crichton. Why this Injustice. I am sure rape for man can be more painful than women given a certain scenario. Now coming to the seconf scenario but I am sorry how to put it , oh I cant cause there is no scenario in the women's case, they can't be Bobbytized.

I asked a guy once which crime do you hate most? His answer was a crime which when I commit is fine but if some other man commits is the worst . He was referring to rape indirectly.

I think no matter what a crime is and how bad it can be if the motive of the crime can be justified for example if your neihbour tries and rape your daughter and in return you also do it , it can be justified. But when there is no good motive like you are drinking and driving and you kill someone, you are done , no defendable motive at all. Unless and Untill you were having "great fun " in the car with your women friend and she just enjoyed it soo much that she bites your manliness leaving you handicapped and one man dead.

Its all perspective , is what I ahve realized and now again mine can be differnet from yours.

I started this blog to write something meaningful and now again its the readers perspective.

Abhishek